Every conversation is going to look and feel different. 

 

My goal is to get concrete details with emotional context so we can understand the arc(s) of your sex (and/or sex at work) life, plus all the details of what you love, what you've learned, and what you hope for the future – both for yourself and for the world.

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Sex Stories Sample Questions

INTRO

 

If you had to rate yourself on a sexual shame-o-meter, with 1 (shameless!) to 10 (so full of shame), where do you fall today?

 

What's your sex life like right now? And what’s your fav part?

 

What does "sexy" mean to you?

 

Did you learn about consent growing up?

 

Have you had an experience of explicit consent that is very sexy to you?

 

What happens to your shame-o-meter when it's time to talk to your partner about safer sex? 

 

What would your ideal version of a safer sex conversation be like?

FORMATIVE YEARS

When do you first remember hearing about sex?

 

What were your early understandings of what it was, or what it meant?

 

How did the culture, religion and family values influence your understanding of sex growing up?

 

How did your family talk about sex when you were growing up?

Friends?

How does that compare to now?

How hard is it for you to talk about sex? Why?

 

Did you get a sex talk?

 

What do you remember about sex ed in school?

 

What did you learn about consent as a child?

What is the first sexual experience you remember having?

 

When did you start touching yourself?

How did you do it?

How does it compare to how you masturbate now?

If you've had variations in your solo sex, what have they been like, and what's inspired them?

 

When did you start touching other people?

How do you define the sexual "bases"?

When did you get to each base, and how did you feel about the experience?

Tell us the details of how you give oral sex and which body parts you'll go down on. 

Tell us the details of how you like to receive oral sex!

DETAILS, PLEASE

 

What are some of your favorite things about sex?

 

What's your body like?

When do you feel most in touch with your body?

 

What are your biggest turn-ons? 

Biggest Turn-offs?

 

What makes you feel desired and/or appreciated, sexually?

 

What do you need in order to cum?

Do you talk about sex with partners ahead of time?

How do you initiate it?

How thorough are you?

Does talking about sex feel easy, and if so, how did you get so comfy with it, and how did you learn how to talk about it?

Tell us about the health & safety conversations you have with partners ahead of time.

What does it look like?

Do you usually initiate, or do they?

What kind of protection do you use?

If you've had an STI, will you please fucking tell us about it so we can de-stigmatize that shit?

 

Are you into sexting? 

Do you send and receive nudes?

What porn do you like?

What sex toys do you have?

Tell us about your kinks!

How did you discover them?
How much have you explored so far?

How did you talk about it with partners ahead of time?

What do you do to ensure safety?​

Are you into group sex?

What's your fantasy group sex situation?

If you've experienced group sex, what did you like best about it? What did you like least?

If you haven't experienced group sex but want to, what do you think you'd like best? What do you think you might like least?

If you aren't into it, why?

Do you have any sex party/club / swinger's party/club experiences? Tell us!!!!

What were the rules?

How do you approach others in this environment?

How did others approach you?

What would your fantasy version of the experience be like?

Do you have sex dreams?

 

What's your sexual fantasy life like?

Do you share fantasies with your partners? How?

What fantasies do you have...

...that you have but will never actually want to happen?

...that you have and would be nice if they happened, but you're like not trying to force it?

...that you really really really hope happens?

...that you NEED to make happen?

...that you totally made happen?

...that were a disaster?

Any other sexual disasters, triumphs, weird, unexpected, awkward, amazing things you can think of?

Anything else you need to say about sex in general or your own sex life?

SEXY FUTURE

 

Future hopes/goals/dreams for your sex life?

If you could go back and give a younger version of yourself sex advice, what age(s) would you pick and what would you say?

Ask me a sex question!

Sex at Work Sample Questions

ORIGIN STORY

 

What’s your work like, and what led you to this sex-related career?

How is it sexy?

How is it less sexy than people think?

How do you define “sex worker”? Do you identify as one?

 

DETAILS, PLEASE

 

What do you like best about your job?

 

Work-wise, what are your boundaries between “professional” and “personal”?

If you work with others: 

Do you establish explicit communication rules for the workplace? 

Do your colleagues tend to have similar personal/professional boundaries sex-wise, or is it part of an ongoing conversation? 

If you work alone: 

How do you talk to professional contacts about sex? 

If it’s different for brands, subcontractors, manufacturers or potential collaborators, and clients, can you outline how?

What have you learned about social and cultural norms:

 

That has surprised you?

That you’d like to shift?

That you love?

What if any cultural shifts have you noticed (either more broadly in the world or inside yourself) since you started this work?

MAKING THE WORLD A SEXIER PLACE

 

If you could wave a magic wand and teach everyone something about sex, what would it be?

In as much detail as you’re comfortable, how has your sex-related work affected your personal life?

What’s the silliest shame-related experience you’ve encountered through your work?

How do you hope your work makes the world a sexier place?

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