I have so many questions.
MY SEX DREAM
I dream of a world where people like to talk about sex.
Where people who are attracted to each other say so.
Where it is crystal clear what–if anything–each would like to do with the other. Where, if their desires align, they have fun doing what they agree on together. Where partners communicate clearly and often. Where people are present in their bodies to enjoy sex.
I dream of a world where womxn are unafraid to express desire. Where we can relish receiving pleasure. Where we feel supported in changing our minds. Where "no" is easily given and received, freeze responses are recognized, and check-ins are made.
I dream of a world where people are unafraid to communicate and connect, where we look out for each other as much as we do for ourselves and our own family. And to be explicit: this vision includes everyone, like actually everyone, so it is necessarily a pursuit of anti-racist worldwide love.
I want to live in a world where enthusiastic consent takes the place of persistent pursuit as the sexiest, most celebrated mode of courting.
I want to replace that gross hetero-normative chasing dynamic that is recognized as "romantic" but is actually contributing to rape culutre. I want to replace it with consent that explicit consent – which can be foreplay. Because talking about it is sexy. My listeners tell me so every week.
And instead of discussing how we can avoid being assaulted, we discuss IF and HOW and WHEN we would like to have orgasms.
Explicit, clear boundaries and ongoing conversations between partners is my dream for the sex lives of humanity.
I want to show people these new sexy rules in the stories I tell, the conversations I have, and the art I create. My intention is never to make a person feel wrong, but to invite them into a new mode of behavior, where they are celebrated for awesome sexy shifts.
Let's normalize talking about sex. Let's infect everyone with love.
I'm here to ask the curious
(and very personal)
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