Updated: Mar 31
(and yep, I'm only talking to guys here based on my own observations of the last two weeks) hey hows it going? is a dumb/bad/boring question in general.
It signals to me, first, that you lack creativity or are lazy, and second, that you want something so whatever I answer doesn't actually matter. The only answer that will truly move you is "OMG so good, how are you??? I actually had a dream about you last night, it was kinda sexy lol hehehe do you wanna grab a drink soon? :)"
Sorry dudes, but it's not usually the answer you'll get.
It's an even worse question right now because it signals that you either aren't paying attention, or you don't care about the fact that there is a global pandemic that is causing death, pain, sadness and fear around the globe.
The appropriate version of this question is the most specific form of "how are you doing right now?" that is appropriate to your relationship with that person – this is what I've received from *all* of my female and non-binary friends, along with a bunch of good dude friends. It's a subtle-but-important difference, and you should only ask this if you actually do give a shit.
But when in doubt, please just settle for the simple "loved the pic you posted" because everyone knows that's what reminded you this person existed in the first place.
How's it going? It's going exponentially. And I'm angry at strangers I don't know who put each others lives at risk, and all I can do is breathe and look for work and make art from my little corner of quarantine, and I am feeling helpless and uncertain.
If you know anyone who is having a completely different emotional response, they're probably consuming media with punditry that's emphasizing different outcomes – I'm hyper-concerned with the death/dying ones, and am of the mind that letting masses of people die is not an option. I also live in a locale that is affected by the virus, which hasn't been exposed in all communities just yet – but a lot of that actually comes down to a lack of testing and leadership.
So, here's a chilling tale from the future that I encourage you to share to try and keep people in their hidey holes:
And for any of your friends or family who are saying things like, “the administration is doing the best they can in a tough situation” —
And because I'm feeling generous and I love my own nudes (I have so many I'm excited to share in April on Patreon), today you get three: